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If the glasses of frustration are more than half full…

So I got my new glasses.  Notice how you don’t see a picture of me wearing them?

I picked them up in the shop over a week ago, realized these are going to take some getting used to, and they showed me how to look up, look down, how to tilt my head down to look at the floor instead of just looking down with my eyes…  Things looked a little weird, but ok, I thought, I can get used to this.  It’ll just take time.  And then I took them off, put my sunglasses on to go out into the blinding sunlight, and went home.

I got home, sat on the couch, took off my sunglasses, put on the bifocals, and everything was blurry.  No matter what I looked at, if I looked straight at it, it was blurry.  The trees out the window, the dining room chairs, my spinning wheel, the Buddha on the table…it was all blurry if I looked straight at it.  If I tilted my head down and looked through the top of the lenses, then everything came into focus.

But I can’t spend the majority of my day with my neck bent and my eyes looking “up” just to look forward.  That’s a one way ticket to Migraineville.  I spent about 10 minutes wearing them, trying to figure out if I was missing something, then realized I was starting to get a headache, and what’s more, that I was starting to think of them as “the bifocals of death,” so I took them off and put my old glasses on.

So the next morning I took them back to the shop.  They spent a lot of time adjusting them so they weren’t quite in the same place when I wore them, and that did help a little bit, but not quite enough.  They had to remake them.

Well, ok.  I can understand how sometimes something might not be perfect the first time.  Kind of like reknitting a sleeve.  Cough.

So about a week later I picked them up again.  This time when I looked straight ahead, things were in focus.  Cool.  And when I looked down, I could read.  Well, that was nifty.  So I figured everything was just peachy.

Oh, did I say, “I figured”?

Sigh.  I did.

When I wore them for longer than I had in the shop, I started noticing things.  Like they made my eyes really tired.  After only half an hour my eyes ached.  It felt like everywhere I looked other than straight ahead, the world was blurry.  I understood I needed to move my head up and down to look at things, but I had to move my head from side to side too.  It felt like I was wearing glasses with lenses about half the diameter of a dime.  Everything to the side of that was blurry.  Was that normal with progressives?  (I found it hard to believe it would be, but what did I know?)  Would regular bifocals not be like that?  Was this just the wrong prescription?  Also, I was sure that the prescription for close up was wrong because I could actually see a little better without the glasses than with, and that wasn’t right!

I called the doctor’s office and they had me come in to verify that the glasses were made to the prescription as ordered (they were), and to retest my eyes.  I ended up with quite a different prescription.  Not just different numbers than before, but numbers written in the axis and cylinder columns for one eye, which I never had before.  Yikes, I’m getting complicated eyes now.  So I’m not sure what happened before.  Maybe I tried too hard to read the tiny letters I really couldn’t read last time.  “G, or maybe that’s an O…P, Z, or it could be a 7…”  But surely that didn’t sound confident?

This time I made it clear that sometimes there were things I could barely make out, but they were blurry.  So they’re going to remake the glasses again with the new prescription, and if I’m lucky, this time they’ll be right.  They can’t possibly have to remake them as many times as I’ve reknit the sleeves that still aren’t right, right?  Right?  Right?

As far as those sleeves go, I’ve kind of figured out more or less what I need to do, but I haven’t worked out the numbers yet, and I don’t really feel like even looking at the sweater right now.  Let’s just say the sweater has to go sit in a corner for a month because it’s been naughty.  After it’s had time to think about what it’s done, I’ll forgive it and do what needs to be done with the sleeves and finish it and all will be well and we’ll live happily ever after together.  Yeah, that’s it.  And then vegan oatmeal raisin cookies will grow on trees.

Ahem.  Anyway, for now I’m practicing project monogamy with my sock, and wow, socks go really fast when you just knit them and nothing else!  I suppose that shouldn’t come as a surprise, but usually they’re just my bus knitting, so it’s 20 minutes here, 20 minutes there, 30 minutes here…it all adds up, and over time I get a lot of socks knit, but man, spending a couple of hours just knitting the sock gets so much sock done!  It’s amazing!  Well, if you’re amazed by simple things, like I am, anyway.