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Stupid stupid stupid sleeves from hell

Shit.  Shit shit shit.  Shit goddamn fuck.  Fuck fuck fuck.

Ok, I’m pissed.  (And I assume any of you who are offended by swearing probably don’t even read my blog, so, um, yeah.  Hi.)  I’ve had a migraine for two days, and aside from sleeping away large portions of the day, one of the few things I can do is knit.  If I try to do anything that involves moving or thinking at all, ow, that’s bad.  Railroad spikes, pounding, stabbing, squeezing eyeballs, bad bad bad.  So no moving.  No thinking.  Sitting motionless, doing mindless stockinette in a dark room?  I can do that.  Ah, sweet endorphins.

So since all I’ve been doing for the past two days is knitting and sleeping, I managed to finish the second sleeve of the sweater I’ve been working on since last summer.  You know the one.  The one I had to redesign about three times, and then when I worked out a design I liked, I had to redo the first sleeve about 4000 seven times to get it to fit right.  But fit right it did.  I had the sense to realize that all my sleeves always end up too short because I finish the sleeves before I do the front bands and collar, and then when I do those it pulls the shoulders higher, so before finishing the first sleeve I went ahead and did the bands and collar, then went back to the sleeve.  I tried it on over a long sleeved shirt since that’s how I would be wearing it, measured several times, knit more, tried it on again, knit more, tried it on again, etc.  It was perfect.

And then I made the second sleeve exactly the same as the first.  They are exactly the same length.

So when I finished the second sleeve, I figured, well, I should try it on before I start working all the ends in.  And I did.  And both sleeves are indeed the same length.  Nearly an inch too short.

Fuck!

I will repress the urge to burn it…for now.

I will repress the urge to throw the whole thing into the dumpster…for now.

I will repress the urge to throw the whole thing into one of those collection boxes for clothing for homeless people they have all over town…for now.  Mainly because it isn’t actually finished, and geez, if I’m going to give something to a homeless person, it should at least be wearable.

But…I don’t get it.  And I can’t even start thinking about it now because thinking = railroad spikes.

If I wasn’t a person who was absolutely freezing all winter, I’d say “screw sleeves” and just knit vests.  But I freeze in the winter.  I need sleeves.

Or I would knit shawls except I wear a backpack everywhere I go.  Shawls and backpacks just really don’t work so well together.

I really need to figure out what the hell I’m missing.  Why can I never get my sleeves the right length?

Oh fuck.  I’m going to go work on my sock.

1 comment

  1. Marcy

    Ha, ha! I’m laughing because I’m almost done with my sweater…the sweater I knit from the top down specifically so that I could try it on as I go…and it doesn’t fit right! There is indeed a knitting black hole.
    I feel your pain (well, not the migraine pain thankfully, but the knitting pain). Sometimes I wonder why I keep knitting, thinking I must be some sort of masochist to make things that repeatedly don’t fit. Maybe that’s why I like hats and mittens. They seem to be immune to the black hole. Maybe it’s their smaller size?
    And I think I have the same problem with short sleeves. I never thought about the collar bringing it up further on the shoulders. That makes sense.

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