So I was cleaning out the refrigerator, getting rid of some of the not so fresh vegetables and giving them to the worms. There was some broccoli I bought that I was just somehow never in the mood to eat, so I was breaking it into smaller pieces so it would be easier for them to eat. After I broke the florets off, I started cutting the stalks into smaller pieces with a small knife. I couldn’t be bothered to use a cutting board though since the broccoli was kind of grody and I wasn’t about to wash it since I was just giving it to the worms. So I was just holding the stalk in my hands.
I cut a piece off, and it flew straight up into the air, and…and…nothing. I waited to see where it would land or at least hear a quiet plunk so I could get an idea where it had landed so I could look for it so I could pick it up. Nothing. I looked all around the kitchen. All over the floor. In the sink. Behind the humidifier. Behind the toaster. In the toaster. Behind the microwave. Everywhere.
It just wasn’t there.
I figure either I’ll find a disgusting dust-covered shriveled-up piece of broccoli in six months when I’m least expecting it, or it went straight up into a wormhole, and somewhere in another part of the universe, some innocent being is in their kitchen fixing dinner when a piece of some sort of vegetable matter they’ve never seen before just falls straight out of the ceiling. All they can do is stare at it, completely perplexed, and mutter, “xxykltyorp dny flnzyn?”*
*”What the fuck?”